The Big Transition

I was not adequately warned of the awkwardness that I was in for during my first two weeks of college. No one told me that it would take a while to find people similar to me. I certainly didn’t realize how different I am from the rest of society until I moved into college.

I’ve never felt like such a generally awkward person as I do now that I’m in college, trying to find the people who will end up being my best friends. I find myself searching for replicas of my high school best friends, because I miss having people who understand me. I never realized how few people in the world listen to the same music as me and have the same sense of humor as me.

I always thought I loved meeting new people and making new friends, but I don’t like the pressure put upon this task when moving to a new society. I’ve always felt comfortable with being myself and I’ve never cared what anyone thought of me, until now.

There are three things that every college student strives to achieve: grades, a social life, and sleep. Many say that students are forced to pick two of these three things, because it’s impossible to adequately achieve all three. Unfortunately, it seems as though I’ve chosen grades and sleep as my two priorities in college, while holding onto the social life I had in high school. I’m slowly noticing my high school friends moving on and making new friends, comfortably leaving high school in the past.

I’ve always known that I hate growing up, but it’s never hit me this badly before. I feel like I’m going through a quarter-life crisis, and that the best parts of my life are already over. My senior year of high school was the best year of my life, and as soon as it ended, I could feel my life crumbling around me in so many different ways.

I suppose I’m content with college. There’s not much I dislike about it, but I’m also not crazy about it, either. Now that I know what it’s like to feel extreme happiness with life in general, I feel like nothing will ever make me as happy as I was last year. Everything is subpar. I’m getting through college but I can’t say I’m thriving in it.

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